Ok, so. I went to see 50 Shades of Grey last night. Here’s my quick take:
Wow, did this movie need more cock.
This is a story, ostensibly, that hinges on a man who likes to “fuck. And fuck hard” (Yes, Jamie Dornan actually says that, in the least convincing way possible). And yet, we never see Dornan-as-Grey’s dick, not even for a second. Yes, the film’s rated R, which usually means no male full frontal, though 98% full female nudity? Totally fine.
However, one of the major selling points for this story has been its emphasis on female pleasure, implicitly the heteronormative (or at least cock-appreciating kind), making the utter absence of Dornan’s dick kind of bewildering. Notably, Dornan does wear these ridiculously low-slung and stylishly ripped jeans during the scenes in his sex dungeon/playroom—hot damn yes, he looks good—but the fuckers never come all the way off. Perfect metaphor for the movie.