This is not a small thing

What I’ve learned from this summer’s season of debacles:

1) I know that I want someone (more than one!) steady in my life, someone who’s around in the everyday. Someone smart and funny and passionate about things they care about who wants to be that steady with me.

2) I miss conversation, especially about politics and theater and such.

3) I miss theater. It makes my brain work in a different way, and I need to make a serious effort to go see it here.

4) I have a steady job for the first time in five years, one that pays 12 months of the year, offers PTO, and the opportunity for health insurance. I am a professional person again, who’s recognized and praised for being such. This is not a small thing. This is very good.

5) I like having someone(s) to love, to care about and buy random dumb cards for. This is good for me.

6) I like being loved and cared about, but being told those things isn’t enough. I need action to back up said words, no matter how sweet. Didn’t know this about myself. Now I do.

7) I need to write again, to give myself the time and mental energy to do it. Reading more would help. Buy books again.

8) Having coworkers who care about me, who think that I’m good at my job, who are willing to help me learn more, is important to me. Didn’t realize that I’d missed it until now.

9) I need to get back in to regularly therapy once I have health insurance again. Has to be top priority.

10) I am too casual for academia and too formal for the corner of the business world I find myself in. Keep searching for happy middle.


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